Don’t you wish people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.
Girls don't dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.
I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd :)
In a cramped bus.. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. Man: Oh! That’s… that’s just my salary in my pocket. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?
I’m listening to the voices in my head and I’ve come to realize that they are having more fun than me. I’m gonna go join them for a few drinks.
I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.
My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.
Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!
Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.
Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!