I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.

You can either be right, or you can be the husband.

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! He’s dreaming too.

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya. Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai. Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte

1 sabzi wale k ghar bacha paida hua, to 1 aurat bache ko dekh k boli: kitna pyara bacha hai ? sabzi wala aadat k mutabik bola Aur hai b Bilkul taaza

A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop. A customer girl asked: Underwear dikhana plz. Sardar thora sharmakar: G aaj nahi pehni.

A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa Aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Delivery k baad bachche ki mutthi band thi, Muthi khol k dekha gaya to usme iPill ka tablet tha or hath me likha tha, Jako rakhe saiya mar sake na koy

Dosto aur Popcorn ke beech me ek common similarity. . . Dono ko thoda sa Jalao to Muh fula lete hai. . PASS IT TO ALL POPCORNS..

Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.

Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl :)

Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai, new funny sms in hindi Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h, Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h, Agr koi mere bare me puche to keh dena Arre wo toh LAJAVAB hai....

Hospital ka amla Sheikh kay peechay bagh raha tha. logon nay poocha kia howa? Doctor: Char(4) bar aisa howa, yeh dimagh kay operation kay bahanay aata hey aur tind kerwa kay bagh jata hey Sheikh Jokes

I believe in hate at first sight.

I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

I wonder if I've met the person I’m going to marry.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.

I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.

Pata nhi kyu log meri itni respect krte h main jb unhe msg krti hun to wo apna sir neeche jhuka kr mera msg padhte h bilkul aapki tarah. MY CRAZY FANS.

Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.

Someone on his status "Sleeping" ...since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.

Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.? . Santa: Sir, Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!

What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite? . Socho ? . BOW BOW! What else can a dog say?

You have eyes my dear but you cannot see.